SALOON
Barnum Bailey, great civic leader, years ahead of his time, walked into a saloon and got a litre of Bulgarian Wodka, telling the bartender, "I'm gonna make this stuff teach me a lesson."
"Lawn on a bankman Onegin, dead!" the bartender replied. He's an exchange student, and that's how he thinks the Bulgarian phrase for You've already had one too many, bub! sounds.
"But see hea, little goat-man," sez Barnum, "because I have got a
surprise for you" — he pauses midbreath to put on a venomous face, and blurts: "Nobody ever told me how to think!"
Welllll ... he got dat bottle. But he was so brought up by his choice of strength, that he made a cookery of it, Wodka-boiled eggs for his Gargamel-baiting obstreperosaurus pallie-o, while heading on a dining-car into Arizona. He knicked eight Stroh's bottles with a razor shaving design and won a contest with it.
Decisive third paragraph provided by Fitch Interprizes, Ltd.